


Show Me You're Different

by orphan_account



Series: New Memories [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Coping, Demisexuality, F/M, Female Stiles Stilinski, First Time, Making Love, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Recovery, Sexual Dysfunction, Triggers, Vaginismus, no noncon between main pairing, read notes for warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-02-03
Packaged: 2018-01-11 02:17:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1167443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles had never really had to worry before, it wasn't as if she had a long string of men or women lining up to have sex with her. But that was before Isaac Lahey had come into her life. Now this perfect cherub of a guy was into her and they were dating.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Show Me You're Different

**Author's Note:**

> This story has past sexual abuse. It isn't really graphic, but it's there so beware of it if you are easily triggered.  
> I wrote this story based on personal experiences, and also because I wanted a Female!Stiles fic like this one but couldn't really find it.  
> Also, I love Stiles in any gender of any sexual orientations with any other character(s).  
> And as a final note, I am going to make this into a series. Because dealing with Vaginismus is a big problem, and it can be really hard to cope with.

Stiles had never really had to worry before, it wasn't as if she had a long string of men or women lining up to have sex with her. But that was before Isaac Lahey had come into her life. Now this perfect cherub of a guy was into her and they were dating.

They had been seeing each other for three months now, and they were finally starting to get intimate... or at least they wanted to be. That is where the problem is, stiles had an issue with sex. It wasn't just that she was demi sexual, that didn't really matter because she was in love with Isaac. That wasn't the issue. She was physically, sexually, and  emotionally attracted to him... But that didn't matter to her vagina, who seemed to hate her.

She had an issue called vaginismus. Basically her vagina freaked the fuck out whenever there was penetration of any kind. She hadn't even really considered it a problem until she went into high school and started to become more sexually aware.

She had slept around a lot her sophomore year, with older men for the most part. Of course, that was before the whole werewolf incident occurred. She was trying to see if it was just because of one experience or if she was wrong. Then then when she realized it wasn't a fluke, she tried to test out different ways of having sex to try and relieve the pain.

Needless to say, so far nothing had worked.After a few different guys, she just decided it didn't matter because it wasn't as if she wanted to have sex anyways.

***

The day she talked to her doctor was one of the worst days she could remember. She thought something was wrong with her, and she was right. She had talked to her doctor and after her exam he told her it was "Vaginismus". Then he did one of the most horrible thing possible... He asked if she had been sexually abused in the past.

The poor doctor didn't know what hit him, but an already scared Stiles had finally broke down and started sobbing. Yes she had... She had been raped back when her mother was in the hospital. They had a neighbor watch her when she came home from school.

 

_She was 10 and she needed someone to watch her and make sure she didn't get in trouble. So that was why she was currently doing homework while Mr. Johnson watched her from the kitchen. It started innocent enough with "Do you want to see something?" Of course Stiles said she did. She was a naturally curious child._

_That turned into him touching her, then him playing with her clit, then him eating her out. This all happened in the span of a few months. He told her that he couldn't tell anyone because then he couldn't watch her anymore and he couldn't make her feel good anymore. She had so many orgasms and she wasn't even aware of what that was. Then came the day that he asked her to stroke him, and to suck him. And she did. All it took was "I made you feel good, don't you want to make me feel good?" The guilt trip worked like a charm._

_Then came the horrible day that he penetrated her for the first, and last, time. It wasn't that he was big, but more of the fact that she was a tiny little girl and he was a grown man. She wasn't wet at all when he first plunged into her, but then after that it really didn't matter. She was bleeding. She begged him to stop, it just hurt too much. She didn't cry... but when he finished... she felt sick._

Of course she didn't get a chance to tell anyone. The next day her mom died. Suddenly the throbbing pain between her legs didn't seem like such a big deal. She no longer had a mother and her father started to drink. So she never told.

***

Today was the day that she sat Isaac down and told him everything. She was a little worried that he would think she was damaged goods and that she wouldn't think she was worth the time. Really, was there room in a relationship for more than one abuse victim?

So they sat down in her room, she had lined the window with mountain ash so that they wouldn't be interrupted and at her house so no one would over hear. She told him. And she cried. He just listened to her. He didn't seem to judge, but when she finished with, "That is why I have an issue with sex" He just looked at her blankly.

That is what hurt the worst, looking at the man she was in love with and waiting for the sting of rejection. Stiles turned away. She didn't want to look at what his face was saying. Or rather, what it wasn’t saying.  

After what seemed like a ridiculous amount of time spent silent, she finally got up and walked to her door. "You can  go. Don't say anything, just go." She turned her face away, trying to fight back tears. If he was going to leave her over this, then she wouldn't let him see her cry. She wouldn't let him watch her fall apart. Because that was what was going to happen. She would fall apart as soon as she was sure he was far enough away to not hear her sobs.

"What the hell, Stiles?" Isaac sounded harsh, startling her out of her self pity. "You can't just tell me all that and then push me away. I just needed a moment to process everything. I'm not going to leave you simply because of your past. I love you. What happened to you doesn't change that."

Stiles looked as if Isaac were speaking a foreign language. What did he mean that he wasn't going to leave her?  What guy in his right mind would willingly sign up for that? She didn’t know what to say, “Wh- what do you mean ‘what happened to me doesn’t change’ anything? Isaac, this changes everything! I’m not some normal girl. It’s not that I’m a scared virgin, I’m far from that. I was abused. I can’t have normal sex. I can’t be intimate without pain. I am broken, you don’t need that shit in your life. You have enough to deal with. So don’t be cruel and make me feel like there is hope. Don’t hurt me just to ease your conscience.” By the end of her tirade, Stiles was in tears. Her chest was heaving, and she was hiccuping sobs.

Isaac exploded, “Damn it Stiles! Stop being a Goddamned hypocrite. Me being abused is okay because I was hit and locked in a freezer, but for some reason it’s different when some asshole took advantage of your vulnerability when you were a child. If anything, your past is more horrible than mine! I mean, for fuck’s sake Stiles. Why are you so willing to hate yourself and blame yourself… but everyone else get’s a free pass? I could never think less of anyone for their past. If anything, you telling me this just makes me feel more unworthy of you.

“You are so fucking amazing, Stiles. You are funny and smart. You can match Peter in wit. You are more brave than any of the ‘wolves. You take care of everyone. You are so compassionate that sometimes it hurts to watch. You make my heart ache when you are self-depreciating. You look gorgeous and radiant no matter what the situation. And now I know that you have been through some shit in the past. And rather than just grin and bear it, you decided to trust me and open up to me.

“Damn. You are the most amazing girl I have ever met. You haven’t let your past destroy your future. You amaze me. How did I get so lucky to be able to call you my girlfriend?”

Now Stiles was sobbing in earnest. She had slid down the door and fell on her knees. She was staring at the ground, with her shoulders hunched. She didn’t know that he felt so strongly about her. Sure, she figured for some reason he was attracted to her… but this was so much more.

Isaac came to kneel next to her, and pulled her into his arms. Pulling her in so that her face was nestled into the crook of his neck. He spoke softly, “Stiles, I am not leaving you. I don’t think any less of you. And when the time comes, if you want to try to take our physical relationship further, I am ready and willing to be patient and work with you on this.” he leaned in and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

***

It was two weeks later when the opportunity arose for them to be more intimate with each other. They were alone in his room, Derek was out of the apartment doing God knows what, and they had the loft to themselves.

They had started with making out. That slowly turned into grinding on each other. And then there were hands underneath shirts. Next thing Stiles knew, they were both shirtless and out of breath. Isaac pulled away to look at her, “We don’t have to go any further if you don’t want. I am fine if you just want to stop right here.”

His voice was rough and breathy. She wanted so badly to continue on with him, “Maybe we can fool around, but not actually have sex?” Stiles offered, feeling more than a little self-conscious. Isaac nodded, “Just let me know if I’m going too far or too fast. Okay?” Stiles nodded her head, and Isaac dipped his head to start kissing her neck.

He was slow, and methodical. There was the smooth and gently press of lips, and the warm and wet press of tongue. He sucked lightly on her skin as he continued his path towards her collarbone. Stiles let her head fall back, successfully baring her neck to him. There was a low rumble of approval vibrating through his body, radiating from his chest.

Stiles could feel herself get wet as she started to throb with want. She could tell the moment Isaac noticed her level of arousal because his head shot up and his eyes flashed beta gold. He dove back down to her collarbone, being a little more rough than he was previously.  Stiles shivered a little, but not due to desire.

His rough treatment reminded her of that day. But she didn’t say anything. Isaac noticed though. He slowly pulled away to look at her face, “What did I do wrong?” He didn’t seem hurt by her reaction, but rather he seemed to want to know in earnest to be able to avoid it again. “You were just a little rough is all. I just wasn’t expecting it.” Stiles felt bad for saying it. She didn’t think she would ever be able to have rough sex. Nothing animalistic like Isaac’s instincts were probably screaming for.

He shook his head, “Don’t hide that from me. This is supposed to be enjoyable for both of us. You have to tell me if I make you uncomfortable.” Stiles nodded her understanding and then surged forward to kiss along his jaw, trailing kisses from his chin to the spot where his jaw and neck met.

Isaac let loose a moan and tilted his head to allow her better access. As Stiles worked at his neck, Isaac’s hands glided around her back to the clasp of her bra. He released it, and Stiles moved to allow him to remove it. Her breasts were perfect. They were smaller, probably between an A and a B cup, with cute pink nipples. The moles on her body also continued across her breasts, painting constellations on the skin that just begged to be licked and sucked.

Isaac wrapped Stiles into his arms and picked her up to lay her down on the bed. He knelt between her spread legs and  stared in her eyes before slowly moving down to take the nipple of her right breast into his mouth. Stiles arched into the gently suction, allowing a whimper to escape from her mouth.  Once again she felt the throbbing and pulsing of want between her legs. It was an ache that she needed pressure and friction to relieve. So she thrust her hips up to meet Isaac’s.

She wasn’t really shocked to find him hard. She did find the choked sound he let out to be a pleasant surprise. She repeated her previous action, and was rewarded again with a sound of pleasure. Isaac continued his ministrations to her breasts, now having moved on to her left breast. Stiles was feeling bold and reached down to Isaac’s belt and quickly unfastened it. Isaac pulled away in order to look her in the eyes, “Are you sure? You don’t have to.”

His concern for her only magnified her want for him. “Can it Lahey.” She said playfully, accompanied by undoing the button on his pants before slowly trailing down the zipper. As Stiles moved her hand to slip into his underwear, Isaac reached down to tweak a nipple causing her to let out a shocked moan.

As if in retaliation, Stiles looked Isaac directly in the eye and wrapped her hand around the base of his cock before giving it a squeeze. He must have enjoyed it, if the way his eyes rolled back was any indication. He moved to undo the button and zipper on her jeans, and waited for her nod before he continued.

Stiles continued to rub and squeeze at Isaac’s cock. Isaac, refusing to let Stiles have all the fun, dragged down Stiles’ jeans and panties. He pulled them completely off, and then allowed Stiles to push his pants down and off.

They were both naked. Stiles had let go of Isaac’s cock to help him in taking of his pants. Now that they were both bare to each other, they both drank in the sight of the other. Isaac was light skin with broad shoulders and a tapering waist. Stiles was pale skin dotted with moles and hips that made Isaac’s mouth water.

“God”, Isaac whispered. “You are beautiful Stiles.” She blushed at his tone that conveyed awe and wonder. Instead of answering, she pushed him off of her and flipped them so that she was straddling her, leaving her wet cunt pressed against his hard member. “Can I blow you?” She asked hesitantly. She wasn’t sure if she was allowed to ask for that. He simply nodded his head in response to her.

Stiles moved down his body, licking and kissing her way towards his groin. When her face was level with is cock, she took a breath to steady herself. “Stiles-” Isaac began. But Stiles cut him off, “It’s okay. I want to do this. I just… just let me know what you like. I don’t want to do it wrong.” Instead of telling her that she couldn’t possibly do anything wrong, Isaac just nodded his head.

Stiles then took him in hand, wrapping her long, thin fingers around the base of his dick. She slowly lowered her mouth before quickly closing the distance and sealing her mouth around the head. There was no preamble, she just started to bob her head up and down. She tried her best, doing what she thought was right. After a few minutes, with Isaac speaking encouragements along the way, she wanted to see how much of him she could fit in her mouth. He was fairly thick and about seven inches long.

She quickly relaxed her mouth and sank all the way down, until her nose met his pubic hair. Isaac let out a string of incredibly creative swear words, and Stiles retreated to the tip before taking him all the way again. And then Isaac was coming.

Stiles swallowed without thinking. And once Isaac began shaking with overstimulation, she pulled off and moved to lay flush beside him. She was placing small kisses on his shoulder, waiting for him to come down from his orgasm induced high. Once he had his wits again, he began apologizing. “I am so sorry Stiles. I was going to warn you, but you surprised me and I didn’t even realize what was happening. I should have warned you before I came like that.” Stiles just smiled and shook her head, “No, it’s okay. I didn’t mind. You just caught me off guard a little.”

Isaac just looked at her. Slightly amazed at how calm she was. Then he remembered that she had yet to get off. His look darkened a bit, and then he seemed to focus back on Stiles. He kissed her sweetly before pulling away to ask, “Is it okay if I go down on you?” He was hesitant, because he didn’t want to make her feel forced or obligated.

Stiles thought for a moment. Was she ready for that? Physically she wanted him to go to town, so to speak. But was she emotionally prepared for him to give her oral sex? After a moment of deliberation, she nodded firmly and allowed Isaac to slide down the bed and turn her onto her back.

He lay down between her legs, propped up on his forearms. He slowly pushed her legs apart, and he brought his mouth to her. he paused a moment and just breathed, blowing out a hot breath against her clit causing a sharp intake of breath from her and accompanied by a gush of fluid from her core.

Just when she thought the anticipation was about to kill her, Isaac pressed his tongue against her clit. This time she twitched and gasped a little bit. Then Isaac began to lick her in earnest. Running his tongue up and down her slit. Feeling her legs tense and relax in pleasure. It wasn’t long before Stiles was screaming her release, shaking and twitching as she came hard.

Isaac worked her through her orgasm and then pulled away and wiped his face off on the sheets below him. He moved back up to kiss Stiles again. They made out slowly and let their tongues dance against each other.

Stiles broke the kiss, and pulled back to look Isaac in the eye,“Thank you, Isaac.” Stiles whispered, slightly teary. “Thank you for showing me you’re different.”

 

 


End file.
